I want the world to know…..

Guys, I’m struggling here.

Not financially, although I could do better in that department as well, but with my social skills.

Most people assume that my social skills are 10/10 mostly because I’m a goofy person and additionally I was also a journalist.

But guys, am pathetic with crowds, new people and small talk. And I try, to a point I have thought of getting professional help. I was seriously considering that untill I bumped into another influential Kenyan blogger confessing the same.

HUMAN CONTACT IS OVERATED!!!

I recall struggling with social anxiety in my last few years as an active journalist to a point I only attended events if it was really necessary.

Infact, moving to Sweden for me, was a chance to live like a hermit. Well, not entirely true but I was glad that I could choose when to be social.

Unfortunately, I still find myself in tight situations. In two instances, I have had to talk to total strangers on phone unplanned. You know those incidences where someone calls you to inform you that they met someone you would be interested in and hand over the phone to the other person immediately? And they mean no harm at all. They have your best interests at heart.

But that messes up my brain. I feel like I’m constantly navigating a minefield, trying to respond appropriately to conversation, trying to avoid saying anything dumb, trying to convey things as clearly as they are in my head. I’d prefer to just observe, but it is weird to sit there and listen and watch without participating. Exhausting.

And then there is the mental replay afterward, over and over, analyzing everything I said and the reactions they caused, subtle or otherwise, trying to dissect it to determine if I offended anyone or inadvertently embarrassed myself.

I think the fact that am a creative and we are famous on relying on instinct to know if we will like someone has contributed alot to this. I prefer meeting people in person and not over the phone for the first time.

I hope this blog post will help my new friends understand me better and also help similar people. You are not alone!

Africa has now joined the hightable

I never imagined that one day my motivation would be drawn from TV.

Yes, nowadays my self esteem boost is drawn from a script. Fiction. It’s ok guys you can judge me now. But can you please hear me out first.

See when I was in Kenya I took so much for granted. Like the fact that everyone thought it is normal to be smart and speak English. I come from a country where 85 percent of the population is literate. No one prepared me for what most of the rest of the world thinks of us as Africans. Yes, I heard about prejudices from friends in diaspora but to be it sounded like a made up tale.

LET AFRICA BE

Dear friends in Kenya, you don’t want to know the picture our beloved UNICEF and UNHCR has painted of us out here. Guys, I have seen some adverts and gone like: “Is that in Mars?” But no, that’s Africa!

Hey, I know we are not a paradise but the UN needs to be realistic. First by updating new photos and maybe clarifying that that’s not how the whole of Africa looks like.

I know it’s too much to ask but surely there is a better way to help someone without humiliating them further. Leave some dignity. The UN which is mostly funded by the Western World should probably remember that if the same countries had not poked holes in our waterfull bucket, we wouldn’t be leaking. You can’t just create a deliberate, entitled, tiresome, sweeping and base ignorance about Africa. No!

Guys let me clarify this, Africans are not poor because we are stupid, no!

This is because we of historical injustices like colonisation and current mismanagement by corrupt governments.

Anyway, I’m slowly accepting the fact that people think we Africans aren’t that smart. And sadly that includes black people who have never been to the motherland.

KENYANS IN SWEDEN HATE THIS

However, I’m encouraged by the fact that there are a few steps taken in by determined Africans to make sure we are eatinh at the hightable with the rest of the world.

The world is now Dancing to Nigeria’s Davido music, reading Chimamanda Ngozi’s books. Speaking of Chimamanda, did you watch the french journalist who asked if there were libraries in Nigeria? A journalist my guys, a journalist! Anyway, I loved Chimamanda’s classy comeback! So diplomatic.

I’m inspired by Lupita and the entire Wakanda team. It’s one thing to watch Black Panther but seeing it featured in Avengers: Infinity Wars? My people legitimising an African accent! Guys, it’s the small things

And this is just the beggining guys.

Africans are coming for what they said we couldn’t have!