Let’s not pretend that one night stands don’t happen. Kwanza some of you are still reeking of this weekends sins. Some of you had planned for it, while others just woke up a besides some guy called Kevo somewhere in Tassia.

Anyway, I’m not here to judge you. I’m here to school you. That you no longer have to have to feel taken advantage of and walk away shamefully without taking any action. Because there is new app for first dates (or one night stands) and it offers potential partners a very fast and legally binding agreement for consensual nights of joy .

Terrible date night with Chauvinistic Briton

LegalFling is currently used in Europe but I thought I should share it with you my Kenyan people. It allows both parties to grant consent to one another before they do the deed, and the Dutch firm behind the app says the people involved can even check off boxes to the terms of their consent — condoms or no, bondage or just getting it on, even explicit language or other forms of birth control are detailed.

The app uses technology that also claims to protect user data.

There’s a major problem though — many experts ask how a drunk person can possibly give proper consent, or what if a person is in a blackout and either gives consent or someone gives consent for them? Also, what if consent is withdrawn mid-action?

Is this the ‘Kenyan’ accent?

A spokesman for the app said: “We’ve created LegalFling in response of the new Swedish law stating that explicit consent is required before the act of sex.”

There is also the “Booty Call Contract,” a doc you can download, designed to make a booty call easier.

After filling in the date and time, the rules are spelled out.

“No sleeping over — unless the “act” was very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.”

“No meeting in public, except for drinks before the events of the evening.”

“No calls before 9 p.m. We don’t have anything to talk about.”

“None of that “lovemaking’ stuff. Only kinkiness allowed.”

Now that’s just rude. Whoever signs something like that needs to Google “self-esteem” and find a better partner to hang out with, even if just for a night of fun.

A more serious version is “Unframe of Mind,” which details exactly what you are willing to do with a partner and says it can be life saving.

“In case you’re planning on having a little one-night-stand tonight, don’t worry. With this printable Contract, Unframe of Mind has you covered! 🙂

If you know someone else who might need the contract? Share it with them! It might save their LIFE!”