Dear bwana ya mzungu……

A few weeks ago, I wrote an open letter to ladies who are moving to their spouses abroad.

You guys actually loved it and I really enjoyed your feedback. You give me the inspiration to keep posting and some of you even go ahead to share ideas for future posts you would like to see.  And one man privately suggested that I should do a similar piece for men.

And because we are gender sensitive at this blog, who I’m I to turn down such a request?

So here are the pointers for men who are moving abroad either with their spouses, work or study. Since most of the things I shared in my previous open letter to Bibi Ya Mzungu . One way or another the rules below will apply:-

The dog that ate underwear and other stories

1. Conscious of women’s rights.

If you are an anti-feminism or have no respect for women please just at home. Even though Kenyan women are woke and won#t allow you and archaic behavior to prosper at least you can bribe your way out of jail. In most of these so-called western countries even looking at a woman suggestively could land you in jail. And although they have free wi-fi in the jails here, they won’t allow you to visit Kenya as a summer bunny. Sasa utaringia watu wapi na hizo designer za shillingi mbili?


2. Gay rights.

The other day my Tanzanian friend who has a boutique here in Gothenburg got the look from a fellow African immigrant for putting up the pride flag on her shop. He even went ahead to sarcastically ask her:”Are you also like these people”. By these people I think he meant the Swedes. Guys, while our religious and cultural backgrounds have conditioned us not to accept homosexuality, you will just have to respect the views of your hosts. If you don’t like it then just stay at home!

Excuse me, I’m a robot!

3. Keep the right company.

Hanging around the wrong people can easily land you in jail. Please try to find people who seem to have their lives in order. People who work and have a life. Avoid people who stammer when you ask them where they live and what they do for a living. Most importantly don#t allow anyone to register their address at your house. They are probably here illegally!

4.Fidelity actually exists.

King Mswati, this is not the place for you. Cheating on your girlfriend can land you into so much trouble. Kwanza watu wa chipsfunga. Some girls can easily claim that they were raped if you try those one night stands. And it’s your word against their’s. Also, don’t even try to discuss shady stories suggesting that you could be cheating on your spouse. Sijui anga side chic. Not that everyone is faithful here but they are pretenders and you must proceed with the narrative!

Sweetheart not so sweet!

5. Get a job.

An idle mind is the devil’s workshop. Just get that keep yourself busy and focus on your life. Achana na story mingi!


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