I’m a proud Kenyan. In fact if you ask me, it’s the best country in the world. I have gotten into a war of words with people who have said bad things about my motherland. Written emails and made people apologise to me in writing because I’m not about to let bullshit slide outta someburryz mouth without me checking them out.

My two year preparation move to Holland- Wendy Kimani

Lakini tuko na tutabia. We are so embarrassing at times I want to cry. Aki it’s like am working alone here. Not a big deal for those who live in Kenya because we are already used to this. And, I actually wouldn’t complain if I had not seen how bad it looks from outside.

Lets get straight to the point.

1.Sending friend requests to strangers.

Aki Wakenya tuwache. I know we are a friendly nation and we just want to make as many friends as we can but please stop adding my friends whenever I tag them in my photos. Frankly speaking I don’t think this is a big deal but I have received complaints before. My friends have begged me not to tag them on my photos because they always end up getting creepy friend requests. One guy, whom I’m gonna expose just now with screen shots coz he was sexually harassing a friend even after warning him. Aki tuwache kabisa. Haina maana!

2.Govt systems that don’t work

So I convinced my colleagues to visit Kenya, then I convinced them to use E-Visa. I even tagged Brand Kenya asking for advise. Guess what? That shit, just like a lot of other Kenyan govt institutions is a hoax. Or the rules have changed and tourists not get their visas at the Chinese Embassy. This is very embarrassing for a country that depends on tourism for economic reasons. Pto!

3.Embarrassing politicians

Gai! I don’t want to explain how chaotic it looks when you read anything regarding Kenyan politics in international media. Not that we do anything different from other countries but our politicians tend to really blunder. And I stammer, trying to explain how things work. How that, is normal. Hakieleweki!

4.Chinese invasion

I have one thing to say about this. Kenya has been colonised by two empires, the British and Chingkong. We are currently the Chinkong Colony!

5.Skin lightening

While I’m not one to judge people for what they do with their skin. Kenyan socialites who lighten their skin make it so hard for some people out here to actually believe that we ar comfortable in our skin colour and don’t think white people are better. I never though of it that way but when you bleach your skin, apparently that#s the message you send out here. That you want to be just like white people!