Old habits die-hard and it’s very hard to teach an old dog new tricks. I have always considered myself a very civilized and exposed but the last three months have even made me question my level of literacy. This is based on all the hilarious activities I have been doing. Sometimes I just feel like I misrepresent my Kenyan people. And so before you hear if from other news sources, here is what I have been up to!
I still panic at the Zebra crossing
My brains are still stuck in Nairobi. It’s three months now but the brain hasn’t registered that I can actually trust Swedish motorists to slow down at a Zebra crossing. Sometimes, they almost coerce me to go ahead and cross the road. Some even hoot at me to alert me that it’s ok to cross the road.
I run across the road
Then after being coerced to cross the road even when I have right of way I still find myself running across. What if some psycho driver decides to ignore the traffic lights? I’m not going to die in Europe when I can prevent it. Hell no! Transporting a dead body on a plane is very expensive you guys.
Closing automatic doors
Call me shady and things but I still close doors behind me. You should have seen the shock and horror when an old lady saw me struggle with the door outside the bank. She probably thought that I was either making out with the door that clearly wasn’t feeling my vibe, trying to steal the door or I was glued to the door. It can only be those three things!
Stop the bus in non-bus stop areas.
Guys, I need therapy to get over the matatu mentality. A few weeks back I actually waved down a bus that wasn’t even headed towards my direction. You know in Kenya, you can hop on any bus as they all stop in every bus stop. So here, different bus numbers stop in designated bus stops. I know that. But my brain is yet to move on. Pray for me.
Do I have to type many words about this? I’m African. What do you expect?
Drinking beer from the bottle
You should see how people stare at me. I just want to be free and drink my ako-hoo straight from the bottle. Eat my food straight out of the cooking pan (Ok, I exaggerated) But you get my point. Don’t you?
PS: Matatu-Kenyan mode of Transport