“Cate you complain too much!” They say. Adding that if I hate it so much then I should move back home.
They have a point. But, don’t shoot the messenger! God knows I will never hear the end of writing a negative post about Sweden. I’ve been called many nasty things in my 1 year blogging, but one of the worst ones was somehow being “ungrateful” for Sweden.
As if you are not allowed to get mad, pissed and even hate your new country now and then. It’s like a relationship really. Don’t bottle in your feelings, otherwise they will boil over and explode, and that just never ends well. Ever.
You are allowed to have a complex range of emotions when you straddle two different worlds. That’s a normal part of moving abroad – there are even studies on it! For me, the hardest part of living abroad is feeling like I belonged neither here nor there. I will get mad at Sweden and Kenya and I felt like I was in limbo.
Sometimes shit happens when you live abroad. Sometimes nothing happens for a long time and you are really happy, and then suddenly it all sneaks up on you at once and attacks you. From fighting with the immigration officers, to my coworkers, to even doctor’s office, Sweden always tested my patience. Hell, I am STILL fighting with them now!
Deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. I love my Kenya, I really do. At the end of the day, I would go through hell and back to live there. And that’s how I know I can complain about it here and there; it’s like venting to a friend.
It’s when your hate for a country bubbles up so much that you become negative and bitter is when you should start thinking about moving home yet still afraid of being thrown out by immigration.
Now that’s love.