Kenyans, this is how you speak to a Swede!

 

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Guys, I’m at a point where I can say I understand a little about the Swedish people. Most of those I call my friends are very  warm and have taught me not to stereotype people based on one scenario.

My Swedish friends are very nice and have made me feel so welcome. So much I could say that I have a family here. That said, I would like to help those who are still struggling to understand my hosts. They are very shy people so sometimes it can get a bit awkward while having a conversation with them. So worry not. I got it all figured out.

I was called a Nigga in front of my son – Ex-Radio presenter

Never look at people in the eyes

Guys, whatever you do please never look at a Swedish person in the eye while speaking. I have said in this platform previously that they are like coconuts. Very tough on the outside yet so soft on the inside. Their faces display toughness that can be quite intimidating . But don’t panic, Swedes are very soft people. Very sensitive by the way. So be very careful when talking to them so you don’t mistakenly look at them in the eye and when you do please take your eyes off and stare at the horizon or something else. Please just do what I say. Avoid eye contact!

Swallow your oh and aahs

A typical Swedish conversation at times may sound like one is sipping porridge. I want you to imagine talking to a friend and they loudly sip porridge while responding to you. For better results, I highly recommend that you close your eyes while doing that!

Absolute, precise and ja vocabs

Please don’t forget to add words like precis, absolut and ja(yes) in between sipping porridge act. That’s part of the package my friends!

I’m I with stupid?

Awkward silence

Awkward silence is part of the Swedish conversation. If you are new in this Swedish conversation business I recommend that you count in between conversations. To be precise count upto eight before talking again. I hear they do this to make sure that you finished talking. Don’t forget to stare at your speaking partner like you are sizing them up. This is very important my friends, very important.

Talk about your past and future weekend plans

Since this is a politically correct society please make sure you always talk about what you did over the weekend. Ask everyone and tell them. It’s a routine my friends. No one really listens it’s just  small talk to kill time by the coffee machine.

Rest In Peace Kisang’ule!

Be positive

Swedes have been accused of a lot but they are not negative people. They only talk about the positive things. Positive things like weather, the last time they had summer and how lucky they were because it was on a Saturday. There are very many positive things to talk about people. Like weather and weather and weather. Mostly weather. Did I mention weather?

 

 

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