How to get away with a fake accent…..

 

I have never really been fussy about people having a fake accent.

It doesn’t really matter to me if you were born in Kamirithu in Central Kenya and speak like you are cousins with prince Harry!

To fit in….

One misconception about it is that it stems from a kind of poorly founded personal identity; if you’re an innate people-pleaser or intent on blending in, the thinking goes, you’re more likely to want to fit in with a crowd as much as possible, and that extends to accents. True but some people just want to be understood when they pronounce some words. You don’t want to spend a whole afternoon trying to explain a single sentence.

Not rude

The important thing to realize about a subconscious wandering accent is that people aren’t actually doing it to be rude or mean. (If you’re doing it on purpose to make fun of somebody, you’re an a*hole. Stop it.) It’s actually seen as part of a much broader spectrum of human social interaction, where we subconsciously mimic the people around us in order to seem more “in tune” with them. It’s called ‘the chameleon effect’!

Trade your eyebrows for data

 

But if you can’t stand people with fake accents I have some ideas on how you could deal with them:-

 

  1. Record their voice and make them listen to it.
  2. Get them drunk just to see if they lose the stupid accent along with their inhibitions.
  3. Run away from them, far far away.
  4. Slap them….over and over again!
  5. Check if they are wearing braces.
  6. Give them an intense death stare until they melt and use their residue to make a doll.
  7. Shove paper balls in their mouth every time they try to speak.
  8. Find out if their country exists on the map. If not report them to the authorities. Foreign species detected!
  9. Speak in the same accent as them and when they make fun of you…tell them you were trying to copy them.
  10. Strangle them so hard that their very soul feels it.

4 thoughts on “How to get away with a fake accent…..”

  1. Funny thing is, if you spend like two weeks in Tz or Coasto you kinda start speaking Kiswahili with that slight sing-song Coasto accent and nobody says a thing. But apparently doing it out of Africa is a big deal. Smh. I agree with you tho, nobody wants to repeat themselves over and over again.

  2. Cate I agree with you that people who change accents have personal identity issue. After speaking to several foreigners who understood me perfectly well, im completely fine with maintaining my accentless english while pronouncing every syllable like my paid for education afforded me…Ti hi hii

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