Guys, I just clocked a year in Sweden. I’m not sure how I feel. I have progressed alot careerwise but I’m afraid I may have lost some human values in me.
See, living in a new country is one thing but a new continent, extremely different culture has been tough. And I’m black. So have I experienced racism? Well, not outright but I’m treated differently. So draining when people assume you don’t know so much just because you come from Africa. When people try too hard around you. I’m black and being black is not a disability so stop being too sensitive around me. It’s disgusting!
Those unspoken weird behaviours have left me wondering if we as Kenyans are too nice to foreigners. I don’t trust myself anymore. How will I behave if I move back home? The fact that I even have such thoughts makes me believe that some bad people and their negative energy have gotten into me and broken me. Sad but that’s the truth.
I’m also at a point where I don’t want new friends. Not because I hate people but the process is really draining. Making new friends should not sound like a job interview. I don’t want to be anybody’s black token friend and when it comes to my African people; I don’t want people all over my business. It is for this reason that my conversations with people will henceforth began with: “Hi” and quickly end with: “Bye”. No small talk. Sounds harsh but I’ve had it.
I’m sorry for the negativity but I needed to vent. It’s very difficult to vent to anyone without sounding petty or insecure. This a personal struggle that even my loved ones cannot understand or assist.
Aside from that, this blog has been nominated for 2018’s Bloggers Association of Kenya Awards in the Best Creative Writing category. To vote please follow this link https://vote.bakeawards.co.ke/ . I hope I make you happy enough to want to vote for me.