Rafiki! Why I don’t have friends in Sweden

Guys making friends abroad is not a walk in the park. And it’s even more difficult if you live in the Nordics. Apart from a few individuals, most people here are fine with the idea of limited or lack of human contact. And that, my friends, is very difficult for someone like me. I have tried guys, I have tried and just like good old saying if you can’t beat them join them.

Also before you call me a bitter coward let me explain to you the struggle?

My skin color.   I know what you are thinking. That I suffer inferiority complex and want a pity party. Fudge you! It is what it is. My skin colour plays a big role because people are so afraid of offending me. Especially on this side of the world where everyone is politically correct. Not to mention that I’m black and African.

I don’t know what I did wrong. Guys, I have struggled a lot with this factor. I meet people think we have a bond and that we have created something special and we are gonna spend the rest of our lives in each other’s houses and watching our kids grow up. But No! It’s all in my head. This has really left me traumatized and has played a very big factor in me giving up.

This is just temporary. Sweden is not for everyone. This school of thought has helped a lot. I like to think of Sweden as the office and Kenya as home. Only that I am spending long hours at work for now. No need to get so attached.

Comparative Superiority. During my first weeks in Sweden, I met this guy who told me: ‘I come from Brazil and they still treat me differently, imagine how they will treat you as a black woman’. That was the end of the beginning of a new friendship. I don’t need people to use my miseries to feel better about themselves.

Hollow conversations. I will not build friendships on a foundation of gossip, weather, our husband’s hobby and what we will do during 2030 summer. I just want to talk about politics and current affairs. And those are taboo subjects so forget it.

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