Things to do in Canaan….


somewhere in Canaan….

Campaign season in Kenya is a very interesting. Politicians and their supporters coin up the most interesting catch phrases.

For instance, this year opposition leader Raila Odinga has been christened Joshua which led to claims by his supporters that if he wins the elections, he will deliver the country from what they believe is oppression by the incumbent government.

So we are moving to the biblical promised land. We are going to Canaan.

If we were really moving to Canaan these are some of the activities we should prepare ourselves for….

  1. Rent out the country.

Kenyans don’t waste an opportunity if they can make money out of it. By now there should be deals by various real estate companies offering foreigners property deals.

Facebook groups would be created for efficient social media advertising for these properties.

This is just an example of how Facebook updates would read: “We are renting out our country(Kenya) and moving to Canaan from August 9. Not sure how long we will be away but inbox me if you are interested. Jokers stay away from this post!”

  1. No plan

“We are renting out our beloved country and moving to Canaan. Most of us don’t have don’t know how we will get there, where we will sleep and how we will survive but we still go. Kwani iko nini?” That would be carefree statement from a typical Kenyan blue Subaru driver.

Trade your eyebrows for data

He would probably abandon his blue Subaru and hitch a ride to Canaan with his Landrover driving friend. Of course, he will bring his own alcohol and find out from friends who are already in Canaan if there are enough women.

  1. Develop a Canaan accent

Kenyans adapt very fast in new surroundings. Even I have a Swedish accent and I have only been here three months. Let’s not get into details about that but to fit in Canaan they would most definitely drop their ‘r’ and ‘l’. better still why not bring the fake American and Bree-ish accent with them?


  1. Buy Credo…..


Kenyans love each other. If you want to confirm, as a foreigner, just try to insult one. The whole country will come for you. So, when we get there we will buy new sim-cards and try to trace each other on social media and find out where everyone lives.  Is there empty house nearby and how big are they? Do they have balconies? How close are they to the road?


  1. Celebrate the transition…


Once we settle in Canaan a festival will be organised just to celebrate the transition. The government will declare a specific day a national holiday. Those who love celebrating in the comfort of their homes will go to the Nakumatt in Canaan and shop as much alcohol as they can afford.  Goats and chicken will not be spared. Kenyans love to party.


Editor’s Note: Vote wisely. Tupendane!

177 thoughts on “Things to do in Canaan….

  1. This might be my only chance to develop an accent, so yes Canaaan here we come.Tunasija.Am loving your blogs keep up.

  2. ???? am dying man!! I heard we are wearing hoodies into Canaan ndio tuitwe waya-hoodie ??? love this!! ?

  3. In 2013 the current government declared their campaign the year of the Jubilee, which they adopted from the Bible. Some “Canaanites”, have also acquired new names with which to enter the promised land. If only Kenyans could use their creativity to unite the country and conquer tribalism, what a wonderful country we would be.

  4. After study some of the web sites on your web site now, and i really much like your technique of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark web site list and will also be checking back soon. Pls look into my web site likewise and make me aware what you think.

  5. I discovered your blog web site on bing and appearance a couple of your early posts. Keep up the good operate. I merely additional increase your Rss to my MSN News Reader. Looking for forward to reading much more from you afterwards!…

  6. Manchester United’s new poster boy Alexis Sanchez became the Premier League’s highest-paid player when he moved to Old Trafford last month… but it wasn’t all plain sailing to the top. Manchester United star Alexis Sanchez once locked his keys in his car after a training session at Udinese… and RAN the eight kilometres home

  7. Thanks for the good writeup. It in truth was once a enjoyment account it.
    Glance advanced to far delivered agreeable from you!
    By the way, how can we communicate?

  8. I just want to say I am just new to blogging and site-building and honestly savored your web blog. Likely I’m want to bookmark your website . You surely have impressive articles. Appreciate it for sharing with us your web page.

  9. Place on with this article, I really believe this internet site requires a lot more consideration. I?ll most likely be once more to review far more, many thanks for that information.

  10. You actually make it appear really easy along with your presentation but I in finding this matter to be actually one thing that I feel I’d by no means understand. It seems too complex and very broad for me. I am looking forward on your subsequent put up, I’ll attempt to get the hang of it!

  11. I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here. The sketch is attractive, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an impatience over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come more formerly again since exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this hike.

  12. Pingback: ciprofloxacin cost
  13. Interesting blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere? A theme like yours with a few simple adjustements would really make my blog stand out. Please let me know where you got your theme. Many thanks

  14. After looking over a number of the articles on your blog, I truly like your way of writing a blog. I bookmarked it to my bookmark site list and will be checking back in the near future. Please visit my web site too and tell me what you think.

  15. Aw, this was an incredibly nice post. Spending some time and actual effort to make a great article… but what can I say… I put things off a whole lot and never manage to get nearly anything done.

  16. F*ckin’ remarkable things here. I am very glad to see your article. Thanks a lot and i’m looking forward to contact you. Will you please drop me a e-mail?

  17. Thanks a lot for the helpful article. It is also my opinion that mesothelioma cancer has an particularly long latency period, which means that symptoms of the disease would possibly not emerge till 30 to 50 years after the preliminary exposure to asbestos fiber. Pleural mesothelioma, that’s the most common sort and impacts the area about the lungs, may cause shortness of breath, breasts pains, as well as a persistent cough, which may result in coughing up our blood.

  18. Oh my goodness! Impressive article dude! Thanks, However I am having difficulties with your RSS. I don’t know the reason why I can’t subscribe to it. Is there anybody else having identical RSS problems? Anybody who knows the answer will you kindly respond? Thanks!

  19. I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here. The sketch is attractive, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an impatience over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come further formerly again since exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this hike.

  20. I was really delighted to find this web-site. I wanted to thanks for your time for this wonderful read!! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to have a look at new things you article.

  21. This is the perfect website for anyone who really wants to understand this topic. You know a whole lot its almost hard to argue with you (not that I personally would want to…HaHa). You certainly put a brand new spin on a subject that has been written about for ages. Wonderful stuff, just great.

  22. I have learned a few important things as a result of your post. I will also like to state that there might be situation in which you will apply for a loan and don’t need a cosigner such as a Government Student Support Loan. However, if you are getting a loan through a conventional lender then you need to be ready to have a co-signer ready to help you. The lenders will probably base that decision on a few factors but the most significant will be your credit worthiness. There are some loan merchants that will likewise look at your job history and choose based on that but in almost all cases it will depend on your report.

  23. Hi my friend! I want to say that this post is awesome, great written and come with approximately all significant infos. I’d like to peer more posts like this .

  24. I simply want to tell you that I’m newbie to blogging and site-building and honestly enjoyed this web page. Almost certainly I’m planning to bookmark your website . You definitely come with superb articles and reviews. Appreciate it for sharing your webpage.

  25. Youre so amazing! I don’t expect Ive review anything such as this before. So nice to locate somebody with some initial thoughts on this subject. realy thanks for beginning this up. this internet site is something that is needed on the internet, someone with a little originality. valuable work for bringing something brand-new to the net!

  26. I really love your blog.. Great colors & theme. Did you build this amazing site yourself? Please reply back as I’m hoping to create my very own site and would like to know where you got this from or what the theme is named. Kudos!

  27. I really love your blog.. Excellent colors & theme. Did you create this site yourself? Please reply back as I’m hoping to create my own blog and would like to find out where you got this from or what the theme is named. Many thanks.

  28. An outstanding share! I have just forwarded this onto a friend who had been doing a little research on this. And he actually ordered me lunch due to the fact that I stumbled upon it for him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thanks for the meal!! But yeah, thanks for spending time to discuss this subject here on your web site.

  29. Hi, Neat post. There’s an issue with your site in web explorer, may check this… IE nonetheless is the marketplace leader and a good element of other people will leave out your fantastic writing because of this problem.

  30. A motivating discussion is definitely worth comment. There’s no doubt that that you should write more on this issue, it might not be a taboo subject but typically folks don’t talk about such topics. To the next! Cheers.

  31. Thanks for the good writeup. It in truth used to be a leisure account it. Glance complex to far brought agreeable from you! By the way, how can we keep up a correspondence?

  32. You’ve made some decent points there. I looked on the web to learn more about the issue and found most people will go along with your views on this web site.

  33. After exploring a number of the blog articles on your web page, I seriously like your technique of blogging. I saved it to my bookmark webpage list and will be checking back soon. Take a look at my web site as well and tell me how you feel.

  34. I’ve read some just right stuff here. Definitely worth bookmarking for revisiting. I wonder how a lot effort you put to create this kind of fantastic informative website.

  35. The next time I review a blog, I hope that it does not dissatisfy me as much as this one. I indicate, I recognize it was my choice to check out, yet I really thought youd have something fascinating to claim. All I hear is a bunch of whining regarding something that you might deal with if you werent too busy trying to find attention.

  36. Having read this I believed it was rather enlightening. I appreciate you finding the time and energy to put this information together. I once again find myself personally spending way too much time both reading and posting comments. But so what, it was still worth it.

  37. This is the best blog for anyone who wants to discover this subject. You realize a lot its almost hard to suggest with you (not that I in fact would want?HaHa). You most definitely placed a brand-new spin on a topic thats been written about for many years. Wonderful things, simply wonderful!

  38. Hi! Quick question that’s completely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My weblog looks weird when viewing from my iphone4. I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to resolve this problem. If you have any recommendations, please share. Cheers!

  39. Having read this I believed it was extremely enlightening. I appreciate you finding the time and effort to put this informative article together. I once again find myself spending a significant amount of time both reading and posting comments. But so what, it was still worth it!

  40. Very interesting subject, appreciate it with regard to posting. «I never pretend to know everywhere many ignorant these are sure-that is all this agnosticism means. » by Clarence Darrow.

  41. I really wanted to make a comment to be able to say thanks to you for all the fabulous tips and tricks you are giving out here. My extended internet lookup has at the end of the day been compensated with professional tips to write about with my two friends. I ‘d admit that we readers actually are very lucky to dwell in a perfect site with many perfect individuals with good methods. I feel really fortunate to have encountered your website page and look forward to really more excellent moments reading here. Thanks once again for everything.

  42. Hi, I believe your site could possibly be having internet browser compatibility problems. When I look at your website in Safari, it looks fine however, when opening in Internet Explorer, it’s got some overlapping issues. I simply wanted to give you a quick heads up! Aside from that, excellent website!

  43. I would like to thnkx for the efforts you’ve put in writing this blog. I am hoping the same high-grade blog post from you in the upcoming also. Actually your creative writing skills has encouraged me to get my own blog now. Really the blogging is spreading its wings rapidly. Your write up is a great example of it.

  44. This is a really good tip especially to those new to the blogosphere. Simple but very accurate info… Many thanks for sharing this one. A must read article!

  45. Next time I read a blog, Hopefully it does not fail me just as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read through, nonetheless I genuinely thought you’d have something useful to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you can fix if you weren’t too busy searching for attention.

  46. We’re a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community. Your site provided us with valuable info to work on. You have done a formidable job and our entire community will be grateful to you.

  47. Hello there! This blog post could not be written any better! Looking at this article reminds me of my previous roommate! He always kept talking about this. I will send this article to him. Fairly certain he’ll have a very good read. Thanks for sharing!

  48. Pingback: buy sildenafil
  49. Pingback: buy tylenol
  50. Whats Happening i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I have discovered It positively useful and it has helped me out loads. I hope to give a contribution & aid different users like its aided me. Good job.

  51. Great goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you are just extremely great. I really like what you’ve acquired here, certainly like what you are saying and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to keep it sensible. I cant wait to read much more from you. This is actually a wonderful web site.

  52. I just want to say I am very new to blogs and truly savored you’re web site. More than likely I’m likely to bookmark your website . You amazingly come with superb articles and reviews. Regards for sharing your webpage.

  53. Although popular with visitors, krakow is not overcrowded with them. A lot of the most desirable activities at seaside resorts are aquatic adventures. Poland once held Europe’s largest concentration of Jews at 3.5 several.

  54. I?m pleased, I have to state. Truly seldom do I encounter a blog that?s both educative as well as entertaining, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head. Your idea is impressive; the issue is something that not enough individuals are talking smartly about. I am extremely satisfied that I came across this in my look for something connecting to this.

  55. Spot on with this write-up, I actually believe this website needs far more attention. I’ll probably be back again to read through more,thanks for the advice!

  56. I have been surfing online more than 3 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It’s pretty worth enough for me. In my opinion, if all webmasters and bloggers made good content as you did, the web will be much more useful than ever before.

  57. Thank you for sharing excellent informations. Your web-site is so cool. I am impressed by the details that you have on this blog. It reveals how nicely you perceive this subject. Bookmarked this web page, will come back for more articles. You, my pal, ROCK! I found simply the information I already searched everywhere and just could not come across. What a perfect site.

  58. Good – I should definitely pronounce, impressed with your website. I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs and related information ended up being truly simple to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it at all. Reasonably unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or something, website theme . a tones way for your client to communicate. Nice task.

  59. My brother recommended I might like this website. He was totally right. This post truly made my day. You can not imagine simply how much time I had spent for this info! Thanks!

  60. I like what you guys are up also. Such intelligent work and reporting! Keep up the excellent works guys I have incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it’ll improve the value of my website 🙂

  61. An attention-grabbing dialogue is price comment. I think that you must write more on this subject, it might not be a taboo topic but generally people are not enough to talk on such topics. To the next. Cheers

  62. obviously like your web site but you need to test the spelling on several of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling problems and I in finding it very troublesome to inform the truth however I’ll definitely come back again.

  63. Thanks for every other informative website. Where else could I am getting that type of info written in such an ideal way? I’ve a challenge that I am just now operating on, and I’ve been at the look out for such information.

  64. It is perfect time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy. I have read this post and if I could I want to suggest you some interesting things or suggestions. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article. I desire to read even more things about it!

  65. Whoah this weblog is magnificent i really like studying your posts. Stay up the great paintings! You already know, many persons are looking round for this info, you can help them greatly.

  66. Aw, this was a really good post. Taking a few minutes and actual effort to generate a really good article… but what can I say… I hesitate a lot and never seem to get anything done.

  67. certainly like your website however you need to test the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling issues and I in finding it very troublesome to tell the truth then again I’ll definitely come again again.

  68. F*ckin’ amazing issues here. I’m very glad to look your article. Thank you so much and i’m taking a look ahead to touch you. Will you kindly drop me a e-mail?

  69. I do consider all of the ideas you have offered to your post. They’re really convincing and can definitely work. Still, the posts are too quick for beginners. May you please prolong them a bit from next time? Thank you for the post.

  70. Seen the whole article content. There are a little bit of really informative info here. many thanks. “Brilliance is typically the act of an individual, but incredible stupidity can usually be traced to an organization.” by Jon Bentley..

  71. I have observed that online diploma is getting favorite because getting your college degree online has turned into a popular choice for many people. A huge number of people have not had an opportunity to attend an established college or university yet seek the improved earning possibilities and a better job that a Bachelors Degree provides. Still other folks might have a diploma in one field but would want to pursue some thing they now have an interest in.

  72. One thing I would like to comment on is that fat burning plan fast can be achieved by the correct diet and exercise. People’s size not only affects the look, but also the actual quality of life. Self-esteem, depressive disorders, health risks, as well as physical skills are affected in extra weight. It is possible to just make everything right and at the same time having a gain. If this happens, a condition may be the culprit. While a lot of food and not enough body exercise are usually at fault, common health conditions and key prescriptions can certainly greatly add to size. Many thanks for your post right here.

  73. Pingback: ed meds
  74. I’m not that much of a online reader to be honest but your blogs really nice, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your website to come back in the future. Many thanks

  75. I’m impressed, I have to admit. Seldom do I encounter a blog that’s equally educative and interesting, and without a doubt, you have hit the nail on the head. The issue is something that too few people are speaking intelligently about. I am very happy that I stumbled across this in my hunt for something concerning this.

  76. After I originally left a comment I seem to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now every time a comment is added I get 4 emails with the exact same comment. Perhaps there is a way you are able to remove me from that service? Many thanks.

  77. I simply couldn’t leave your web site prior to suggesting that I really enjoyed the standard information an individual provide to your visitors? Is gonna be again often to inspect new posts

  78. Hi there! Someone in my Myspace group shared this website with us so I came to check it out. I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m bookmarking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Outstanding blog and amazing design.

  79. Hi! I could have sworn I’ve been to your blog before but after browsing through many of the posts I realized it’s new to me. Anyhow, I’m definitely pleased I found it and I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back often!

  80. I wanted to thank you for this fantastic read!! I certainly loved every little bit of it. I have you book marked to check out new stuff you post…

  81. A motivating discussion is definitely worth comment. There’s no doubt that that you should write more about this topic, it may not be a taboo matter but generally people do not talk about these issues. To the next! Many thanks.

  82. whoah this blog is magnificent i love reading your articles. Stay up the good work! You recognize, lots of individuals are hunting round for this information, you could aid them greatly.

Leave a Reply to web directory script Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.