Sami people…..

Guys, iko shida!

Swedes are experiencing drought and they don’t know what to do with their lives. The government has abolished barbecues and they are not even allowed to water their plants. Infact, they have adopted Kenya’s ‘Nyumba Kumi’ just to make sure no one is showering more than 5 times a month. Ok, fine I exaggerated. And maybe that was wrong to even suggest that vikings, who spend their summer days in the ocean bathing, could skip a day without showering!

Kenyans, this is how you speak to a Swede!

Anyway, things are thick. This is the first time they are experiencing this type of heat in a million years. As I may recall, last year, summer was only one day and it was on a Saturday and we were all lucky to have a picnic and sun-kissed selfies.

Swedes are sad, I imported flu!

Can you believe the county government of Vastra Gotaland (Gothenburg) told the farmers to go to the city and slash the grass for their reindeers and elks. What are you laughing at? This is a true story. Alafu now there even cops at forests to inspect people who drive in there just to make sure they have not eaten lately coz they might fart and light up the whole forest. Have you guys seen the forest fires? The whole world is here trying to put them out.

Sorry Canaan, I’m moving to Estonia

I don’t even want to talk about how this has affected the cost of living. We are huku buying a tomato sh 600 and need a loan to buy a cucumber. The other day someone looked at me supsiciously for buying more than two fruits. I don’t feel safe anymore!