Have you ever spoken to someone and wanted to strangle them after two words.

That was me on several occasions during my visit to my beloved Kenya. I love my country, the warmth of my people and generally all things Kenyan. But let’s face it. Kuna watu wanakuanga na tutabia.

For instance someone approached me ati: ‘Wewe unakujanga huku na hata huwezi tutembelea.‘To start with, I have never tembelead them even when I lived home and neither did they. And it was fine. Secondly, even when am miles away we don’t keep in touch and neither do they bother to visit my family so….

Then came a passive-aggressive conversation: ‘Are we enemies now? Why do you never keep in touch?’ To which I responded: ‘Neither do you!’ Then follows a whole dick-measuring competition that I don’t know how to handle. I moved to a new country and went through so much shit and during this time no one contacted me to find out how I was doing. During the three years, I have lived in Sweden I have lived like a pauper due to poor choices in life, suffered major depression that saw me miss work for several days and job retrenchment. Luckily, I got a new job before the notice period was over. And during this time, other than immediate family and some friends, none of these characters contacted me. So you can understand why I went quiet. Or not!

Ulituletea nini ama ulitusahau? Ofcourse I forgot about you because you don’t keep in touch. What kind of question is that? Do people still talk like this in 2019? Super exhausting.

By the way, I have no issue with people who expect handouts from people abroad. Some previous summer bunnies set these standards and it’s up to an individual to say yes or no. Sio lazima. I just won’t have conversations that are neither here or there.